Rearranging the plumbing

Toilet paper manufacturers of Great Britain can relax. I won’t be dispensing with their services just yet. In fact, the way things are right now, I might even consider buying shares. It was two weeks ago today that the knife went in and I’ve been home from hospital a week. The staples are out – if I thought I had a long line of piercings last time, they were even more impressive this time around.

It sounds like they had a good guddle around while they were in there. It turns out that CT scans aren’t hugely reliable – I had been warned about that beforehand – and so, although they found the lump that had showed up on the scan, they also found all sorts of other undesirable stuff. They had gone in, this intrepid duo, with the intention of clearing out 100% of whatever they found, whatever it took. I’d been warned. In the event, they found lots of tiny spots of ovarian “disease” (sounds so much more manageable than cancer, doesn’t it?) all over the peritoneum and what was left of the omentum.  This was very typical of ovarian disease, they reassured me. Did I find that reassuring? Take a guess. They took out as much as they could, around 95% they estimated, and figured the chemo would nail the rest. I spent some time trying to identify the good news in all that but without much success.

The one bit to cheer me though was Continue reading

Onwards and upwards

Life has moved on in the Guineapig  Household this summer.  In fact, I was wondering if it was time for a name change but I’m really quite attached to Guineapigmum so I think I’ll stick with it for the time being.  The biggest change is that Number 1 son, GP1, is now in residence at one of those institutions where teenagers practice sleeping, drinking and spending their parents’ money.  Yes he’s now at university. It’s not quite as far afield as originally planned. He got cold feet at some point during the summer (it may well have been the point at which he hitched up with a new young lady) and changed his UCAS options. He’s now in halls somewhere on the outskirts of Edinburgh and learning to cook, drink (did I mention that?), run up phone bills and play. And he’s home almost every weekend.  Well, you get fed at home, don’t you?

He didn’t work quite hard enough during 5th year Continue reading

The refined art of bribery

This morning, at 9am, I found myself online with my finger hovering over the Buy This Instant button as T in the Park tickets came on sale.  Apparently I agreed to buy GP1 a ticket in return for his fantastic exam results this year.  That must have been during one of my more maternal “Let’s be positive and look on the bright side” moments, as my understanding of fantastic exam results doesn’t entirely coincide with my son’s.  In fact, I don’t think our opinions even approximately match.  Still, not being one to go back on my word, even if I can’t quite remember the conversation, I did the deed and bought the ticket. 

So I’m now the proud owner of a ticket for the 2010 T in the Park.  It’s my ticket.  Mine.  Not his. If he wants it, there will be conditions attached.  And if he doesn’t get respectable marks in his prelims in February, I will be offering the ticket to the  highest bidder. Or any bidder. Perhaps I’ll give it away.  I’m sure there are some very deserving cousins who’d appreciate it.  Who knows, I could even go myself. 

If I were my son, I wouldn’t  be calling my bluff.  You have been warned, GP1.

Please form an orderly queue now.  You can camp overnight if you want to be first in line. And no pushing at the back!

Neglect, n.

Neglect.  As in My blog has fallen into a state of neglect.  I haven’t written anything. It has accumulated spam comments (now deleted, I hope).  There are real comments, including some from Reluctant Memsahib, one of my favourite reads, and I haven’t responded.   I’ve been busy. I’ve been away. I have lots of excuses.  I don’t really like excuses, though.   My sister has taken me to task. “Why doesn’t your blog work? It won’t load” she asked.   I think it’s sulking.

It’s not that there’s a shortage of material.  The holiday, for instance, is begging to be told.  Stories about the fading American lady in Fiji Continue reading

In denial

Three weeks and counting…

Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag

GPM:  “That’s 3 weeks. THREE weeks. Well OK 23 days and a few hours until Higher English.  You won’t be able to put it off any longer then.”

GP1:  “I kno-o-ow.”

Nag. Nag, nag, nag, nag.

“So have you learned that poem? Read that book? Written out those quotes?”

“I’ll do it tomorrow.  Sigh.”

Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.

Bup-a-lup goes MSN.

Nag, nag, nag, nag.

I think I’m turning into a moany old nag.

And I wish someone would move that wall that’s making lumps on my head.

Nag, nag, nag. Nag, nag.

It must be summer – exams are upon us.  It’ll all be over soon. Thank goodness. Until next year, that is.

And until then…

…nag, nag, nag, nag…

Bup-a-lup

Geo what?

Subject choice time looms for GP2, my 14 year old son.  He has to pick three subjects plus Maths and English to study for Higher.  “What do you want to do when you leave school?” everyone asks.  “I don’t know!”  he wails.  “Earn lots of money.”   Don’t we all.  Did you know what you wanted to do at 14? 

Anyhow, Chemistry and Physics are firmly at the top of the list with Geography and Graph Comm (Technical Drawing to you, I think) tying in third place.   “What can you do with Geography?” he asked.  Geochemist, geophysicist, geologist, oceanographer, meteorologist, cartographer, accountant (OK, I didn’t tell him that one), teacher, search for oil…  lots of interesting things.   

What about Graph Comm?  We came up with engineers of various sorts, architect, accountant (no, not this time either)….  lots of interesting things. 

“Go and speak to your teachers” I said.  “Ask them.  Speak to that nice careers man.  The one who plays the clarinet.”

So he burrowed about on the internet and found various things.  I was burrowing about today for some work I’m doing (honest!) and came across this, which I thought you might like:-

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/jxbIJH4fTYo" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

And even though he's a teenager, I like to think I still have some idea of the things that interest him most ;-) , so I'll give a gentle prod in the Geography direction.  His choice, though.  Ooops - the font's gone funny. :oops:
 
 

 

😀

 

Teacher speke

Parents’ Evening could have been worse, I suppose, but you do have to read between the lines.  A little conversation ensued on my Facebook page, to help me in the interpretation.  I though you might all like to join in.

Facebook quotes:-

“I used to get comments like, easily distracted, can do it if he makes the effort. Not to mention the poor splelling 😉 “
“My best was for p.e. – J.  would benefit from a more active approach to this subject”
“Teachers’ code. Lazy ass who needs a kick up the backside. But we are not allowed to say stuff like that.”
“Teachers’ code: I know a teacher who refers to the pupils as E.L.F.s (evil little f…ers) Made us laugh lots.”
So was the “There’s been some improvement” code for Continue reading

Boys: a miscellany

One hitherto unforeseen advantage of trundling round the house with the vacuum cleaner is that it gives you space to compose blog posts in your head.  One disadvantage is that the instant you switch the machine off, those wonderfully crafted words disappear, sucked up as far as I can tell into the Dyson. 

Anyway, there I was, mulling over the apparent impossibility of getting GP1 to even think about doing any revision for the forthcoming prelims or perhaps even making a list of what he needs to do.  I don’t ask for much.  His younger brother, on the other hand, also faced with exams, comes out with such gems as “Mum, if I do this past paper could you mark it so that I don’t cheat?”  You’d throw up wouldn’t you, if he wasn’t your own son.  So I just laugh, lavish praise,  agree and wonder why the application genes couldn’t have been divided equally.

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to auction tickets for someone to accompany me to Parents’ Evening tonight.  Continue reading

Talking to teachers

The school communication chain

Part 1    Parents talking to teachers

  1. Identify a pressing need to speak to a teacher.
  2. Find out name of relevant teacher from reluctant teenager.
  3. Weekday morning: write note and send it into school with relevant teenager.
  4. Weekend morning: find scrunched up note in pocket of trousers heading for washing machine.
  5. Next week:  phone school to speak to teacher.
  6. Teachers being teachers, they’re teaching (during school hours) or in meetings (after school hours), not speaking to parents on phone.
  7. Leave message for teacher.
  8. 2 or 3 days later, phone school again.
  9. Speak to receptionist, she of So I’m Supposed To Know Everything, Now? fame.  She insists that it’s not school policy to put parents through to teachers and you have to be routed via guidance. (See?  She does know everything.)  Leave message for Guidance teacher to pass to Class teacher.
  10. 2 or 3 days later…  Assuming you 1) still have the will to live, 2) can remember the original question (did you keep that note?) and 3) still want an answer, figure out Guidance teacher’s email address and email the question.
  11. 2 or 3 days later… Yes!  Result!  Receive response from Guidance teacher who has spoken to class teacher.
  12. But…  You need to reply to the teacher’s reply.  Email Guidance again.
  13. 2 or 3 days later…  receive a reply to the reply.
  14. It must be about week 4 by now.
  15. If you’re lucky, very lucky, Continue reading

The worst mother in the world

Apparently that is my sobriquet amongst GP1’s friends, due in part to my whimsical tendency to insist that he occasionally tears himself away from the X Box to do his homework (well I try) and in part to my – sorry, our – bizarre and totally unreasonable refusal to allow TVs, games machines or computers in the bedrooms.  I found this out last weekend when we took twelve teenagers paintballing.  Twelve?  Yes, twelve.  That’s the result of having two birthdays in the same week and then, as happened last year, choosing to have major surgery that very week.  There’s a lot of making up to do.  Bad planning, some might say. 

Anyhow I thought it was a bit unfair to call me The worst mother in the world, albeit with a huge smile,  when Continue reading

Onwards and upwards

 Standard Grades seemed so simple.  Were they ever an issue?  Did I ever worry that GP1 might not be working hard enough?  Surely not.  The fact that GP2 is sitting his SGs this year is really just incidental.   Because, dear reader, we have Highers looming.   I have written very little about GP1 and his meandering journey towards Highers for the simple reason that I find it all too distressing.  It’s also difficult not to get too personal about it all.  Why, I wonder, am I the one waking in the middle of the night worrying about oldest son’s English essay?  I’ve got my own report deadlines to worry about, thank you very much.

But I was cheered the other day by an email comment from the wonderful lady who is struggling to tutor him through English and I thought perhaps Continue reading

Guineapigs

Timetable in a Norwegian school by Edublogger.It was the end of June and so the end of term when I found myself reminded of the reason why I adopted Guineapigmum as my nom de blog.  Three years ago (was it really that long ago?) the school decided to bring the Standard Grade exams forward a year.  The students would choose their 8 subjects at the end of S1 (Year 8 ) rather than S2 and sit their exams at the end of S3  (Year 10) instead of S4.     They would choose their 5 subjects for Higher at the end of S3, do a 2 year instead of the more usual 1 year course and sit Highers as normal at the end of S5.  Got that?  Come on, keep up at the back of the class.  If you stopped gossiping you’d know what I said.  

GP1 was in the first year group to go through this system and so he sat his Standard Grades a year ago, in 2007.  With this first cohort, the teachers had to deal with two entire year groups Continue reading

The personal touch

45656455_ed1f145c5c.jpgSo there we are.  External exams are over for another year.  Next year will be the big one – GP1/Highers (I’m trembling and pale at the prospect) with GP2/Standard Grades (an entirely different proposition).  This year, though,  was a relative breeze. 

First up there was SVS.  Once I’d got my head round the fact that Continue reading

Fidra books

shop.jpgThere are a couple of recent posts on Fidra books that may be of interest to any EduBuzz or Edinburgh based readers. 

The childrens’ writer  Steve Augarde  is visiting the shop  “on Thursday 8th May at 7.30pm to talk about the joys and problems of writing for children and young adults and to give plenty of practical advice on how to get your work in front of an agent or a publisher”.  

Vanessa has also written a post about Harry Potter appearing on the A level reading list.  Harry Potter?  A level?  I don’t like to get snobby about books, as I read anything with words on that sits still for long enough – newsletters, noticeboards, cereal packets, Enid Blyton, Tolstoy, whatever.  The only book I remember failing on in recent years was something by Martin Amis which I just couldn’t hack.  I fully admit that Continue reading